Tough news....

After many battles of debate in my mind whether I should post this or not I figured the only people that view our blog are friends and family that know we are pregnant. We weren't sure the best way to tell people about this (since there are quite a bit of people that know we are pregnant) and I am not sure if this is even an appropriate place to write this however I would much rather write it down than have to say it to people. Besides I have felt that writing my feelings down have been very therapeutic for me. My intentions are not for anyone to feel sorry for us and I especially hope that no one will feel awkward either. For the past couple of days I have been through an emotional roll-a-coaster ride that has definitely had its downs and not to many ups. We found out on Friday that the baby had stopped developing. You don't ever expect something like this to happen I guess maybe some people prepare themselves but I never did. We go into our 12 week appt. thinking we're going to hear the heart beat but they couldn't find it, they could only hear mine. After a little bit more looking, using the ultrasound equipment, they determined that the baby just stopped developing. It's pretty tough but we know that we'll be ok. This stuff just seems to happen even though you wish it wouldn't. I am just thankful that Nick was with me at this appointment and I didn't have to face the news alone. I went in on Monday and had a D & C surgical procedure done. You don't realize how hard it is going through something like this until you are going through it yourself. Its times like this when I look at my life and I am just so thankful to have what I have. I know that Heavenly Father loves me and it is His love along with loved ones that I feel during this grieving period. I am saddened deeply by this but I know that through time all will be healed. Even though we are going through a tough time I still manage to find the thankfulness of so many things. I am thankful for my loving husband who has been there day and night by my side and has felt every pain and shed every tear with me, I am thankful for the little joy that we have felt these past couple of days have been living through our 18 month old Davis, I am thankful for the family that has come to our rescue and taken care of us, cleaned our house, without hesitation watched over Davis, cooked us meals, and gave us enough comfort food to feed any soul. I am thankful for the simple gesture of a friend that brought us some banana bread, I am thankful for the friends that I have at church that took time to bring my family warm meals, cards and beautiful flowers that would brighten any day, I am thankful for a loving and simple phone call from our bishop letting us know that he is there for us anytime, I am so thankful for the compassionate doctor that I have and for the counsel and medical advice he gave us. I am thankful because I know that Heavenly Father is listening and as I close my burning eyes and pray that some of the pain will ease I know that he is there with me and that I am not alone as I face another sleepless night and how thankful I am for that. I am especially thankful for the priesthood blessing that I received through my husband, father-in-law and brother-in-law that I know came directly from my Father in Heaven for me. I am thankful for the gentle and comforting words that I heard. All of these things I am so thankful for and they seem to leave me at peace and calm the storm that rages in me. I am just thankful to receive some peace in my life during this difficult time and I just want to end by saying I have grieved over my loss but I am not at a loss because I have grieved, thanks to many of you who have been there for us we have felt your prayers and we love you